"People tend to choose their lover over friends. so... what are friends for?"
Saw this question on FB.
And I guess many people has this question in mind too.
I guess many of my friends will think I always choose lover over them.
Ever since like.. secondary school when I have my first time? lols.
The fact is: okay, I do not deny I am one of those kind.
And I guess many of my friends would think "why weini lidat one?".
"What's for having this type of friend?"
that's why i do not have much friend now. :/
BUT.. I just wan to clarify that...
even if I am that kind of person..
it doesn't mean I did not care about my friends at all..
I din go out with my friends does not mean I do not care about them.
and it does not mean I have never ever dis-regard them as friend too..
if you really in need of help, i will definitely help even thou normal times i m not there.
in the past, friends always ask me out..
but i always never go out..
reasons because:
1. I am not allow to out to often in a week (I am serious)
Although back then many of u say u cant out too often or mother object..
but u all still can out for long and quite alot of times in a week. When I say i
am restricted, I seriously mean I am restricted. Twice in a week is alr too much
for my mum. believe it or not. she is really tt tradition.
2. I cant out for long. so I do not want to dampen anyone mood. I dun wan
others to be forced to go hm early jus because I need to go hm early.. like I m the culprit.
Althou I am one, I dun like that feeling of being one. (:
3. I am so adapted to my mum way of restrictions thru out the yrs..
that i dun feel like stepping out of hse after I have been into poly.
I am still restricted by then thou..
4. I cant shop for long. In fact, i don't do shopping. I onl buy clothes once in a year...
which is the period before new yr. and i owas source my new yr clothes either in my market..
or amk central.
5. I am bored. I am a really really bad communicator? I do not know what to talk with others.
I duno wad is interesting abt me tt I can share. During sec 1, i asked one of my good frien -->
"Actually, am I a very bored person?". And she told me yes! lol! its funny! but ya.. frm thn
I am even more sure I cant make other ppl happy. lol. so i try to avoid going out with ppl alone..
cuz I swear I do not want to bored them.
Oh, and truly.. my sec 1 good friend went away to be best friends with others. lol! its so sad. :x
Next, reasons thatI always tends to choose bf thn my friends.. cuz:
1. They r the one tt won't find me bored. And they do accept my quiet moments. I feel weird being
quiet with my friends.. cuz i can see their bored face when I am quiet. And I will panic n feel lousy
when i make them bored. lol!
2. Ever since primary school, I have always been experiencing some unpleasant happenings. Like,
being accused by friends. Being bullied by my friends cuz I am super obese in primary sch and I m
rather quiet and bored. Till i reach sec sch, my primary very very best friend betrayed me. it was
really saddening for wad she have done.
Then, when i reach sec sch, they r some tt doubted my trust level.
As in, when their secrets r out.. first person they think is me..
thou I can swear i did not reveal any word.
Then the case whr i say my good friend find me bored.
THen there is another case whr my good friend..
i duno for wad reason or wad ground.. owas need my attention..
complained to another best fren of mine say i neglected her.
and she owas want to compare results or things with me.
wadever I have, she must have it and she want to have even more n beta thn mine.
she like to tell my story A and tell another gd fren of mine
story B. thn when tt gd fren ask me I told her the story A tt i was told..
but she tot I lying to her. lol. And during sec 1, my good frien tot i stupid or smth,
use some tricks to trick me and tot i did not noe. But i know..
and it was sad tt she use tt kind of trick to trick me when she
know she is my good friend. lol.
In poly, i am tgt with this 2 gals older thn me by one yr old.
but thru out my 3 yr of poly life... i have to be kena bullied n shouted by one of them.
thou another one aso kena shouted by her before.
thn they both like to team up n tease me..
its ok if it is normal teasing.. but they really like to say things tt r overboard.
She is the only one tt suan me and i cannot stand it one.
yups, the ONLY ONE in my life tt i cant stand her suan-ness.
can this sentence highlight how bad it is? lols.
ok... thou i say so much about bad memories..
but I do have good friend that gave me pleasant moments of cuz.
But all this unpleasant moment, makes me feel bf is beta?
3. my mum owas taught me since young...
she say dun need to owas go out or have too much friends.
cuz at the end of the life, u will get married and have ur own family..
by thn ur friends will have their family n their life too.. wun be able to stick to u either.
so in the end.. the one tt spend the rest of the life with u.. if ur partner... not ur friends.
to a certain extend, she is right.
THUS, these r the reasons why I have owas chosen my bf thn friends. Perhaps its excuses to all of u..
but these r just my reasons.
And i guess... because I am not a good friend, i owas dun out with them when my friends ask me out..
and because wad they see and tot is owas i choose my bf over them.. tt's many of them dislike and kind of
dun regard me as friends now? I duno is this the reason for their attitude towards me or smth... but i guess so.
hmms... i would like to ask them, did they always choose their friends before their bf when they r truly in love with their partner? Or did they never once choose their bf before their friends? if they did choose their bf before their friends, thn y cant they understand me? just becuz i nv out with them.. doesnt mean i did not treat them as friends.
I am really thankful to all that brought me pleasant moments in life.
in fact, if i am to list... it will be countless posts n countless ppl tt i need to thank for.
but sadly, many of these ppl does not truly understand me...
and many left. lol.
i jus wan to say... not everything is wad u see on the surface.
and not everything i have to owas clarify and say it out. lol.
so wad r friends for to me?
or wad type of friends am I?
i am a utmost lazy and bored friend.
yes i do cherish my relationship alot.
family is most impt...
follow by my bf and fren who is in need of my help.
but i do admit under normal circumstances..
bf do come in priority.
cuz its proven i am not specifically needed by my friend/s. (:
i am lazy not only to fren but to bf as well.
we dun do shoppings we dun go out for long nor go alot of places.
he is like me... do not love long hrs of walking. lol
so in this aspect, i am fair huh? :x
emo post! nobdy except few know my blog cuz i forbid it to be searchable on google.
and i did not give anyone else...
so i type this post is typically becuz i just nd a space to say out all my stuffs.
that's all.
no intention nor motive. (:
